Retrogress Into Your Total Ego
A child is pure ego suck. A child sucks total energy for Self in order to fulfill his/her genetic drive into total DNA growth and total brain power, terminating in nirvana. Parents, culture and society block this drive via toilet training, meaningless job conformity and insane killing war. The child grows into a blocked, unfulfilled adult dominated by Life confusion; by neurosis.
You now are going to retreat back into comprehensive child ego suck to discover where you got off the track to your guaranteed maturation. In the privacy of your skull, you shall enfold your Self with precious honesty. You now shall become again your child. Play uninhibitedly and wisely with the intuitive rightness of your Life. For merely by playing like a kooky kid, DNA causes your dormant brain circuits to re-start surging electro-consciousness energy forward toward the final networking of every cell, tissue and organ into perfect computation of your personal intelligence with genetic intelligency and cosmic intelligence.
Your personal intelligence will tell you which experiences during your now remembered childhood caused wrong connections in your brain; which caused right circuitings. From this proper understanding and comparison between how you did grow up and how you should have been grown up, you now shall start changing the wrong experiences into correct experiences. You now shall start releasing your bound energy of neurosis into free energy.
1. Put an overturned bucket over your head. Preferably emptied of water. Say but one word to your Self: “Me.” Now say it again: “Mee.” Now say it again: “Meee.” Now repeat it over and over and over and over again: “Meeee. Meeeee. Meeeeee. Meeeeeee.” The enclosed resonance and reverberation will persuade you with dramatic, shocking totality what your one and only point of concern shall be while you are doing this self-therapy.
Have a friend yell through the bucket wall all sorts of insulting cultural conformity questions. (Or do it yourself in your silent thoughts.) Have him/her shout questions which are supposed to make you feel guilty about being so egotistical. Have him/her holler challenges which are supposed to make you stop sucking only for yourself. Have him/her try to forbid you from completing this long frustrated child satisfaction. He/she will try to force you to return to doing what others want you to do with your Life:
“Who is the most important person in this whole world?” (Shout: “Me!”)
“Who is the first person who gets first suck of everything?” (“Mee!”)
“What about helping others?” (“Meee!”)
“Why are you so childish?” (“Meeee!”)
“How do you expect anyone to like you when you are so disgustingly self-centered like this?!” (“Meeeee!”)
“Who do you think you are playing this temper tantrum while there are people starving all around the world?!!” (“Meeeeee!”)
“Where do you think your pig suck behavior is going to take you in this one and only chance at Life?!!!” (“Meeeeeee!”)
“When the hell are you going to grow up and stop acting like this spoiled brat so you can get married and stop thinking and go to a boring job and buy a 20-year mortgage house and breed neurotic shit diaper punks and get drunk and die spiritually?!!!!”
Become jackass-polarized between your phony cultural values, which say you are supposed to be “mature” and “cooperative” and “non-egotistical,” and your honestly intuitive knowing that you never have been allowed to grow up beyond your childhood confusions, pains and fears. Feel the terrible torque and tension between the absolutely wrong polarity. Break down into torrential tears. Cry out against this Lifelong mistake which has starved your spirit to the brink of Death. Break up into relieved rapture, now knowing you shall cure the polarity into global brain and transcending health.
2. Arrange your grand strategy for morning, afternoon and evening play along with your daily serious money job and family obligations. Plan this strategy into the daily tactics of PIES: physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual things to do. Play intuitively. Play egotistically. Trust your intuitions to tell you which of the old, unsatisfied ego suck needs is next in line to be satisfied. Play with your train of garbage-filled and toy-filled memory boxcars. Express and satisfy the next boxcar. Dump out all the bits of memory junks and emotional slops and play with each to satiation. Gratify all the old things in your child ego which did not get indulged sufficiently back then when the boxcar first was being filled with wrong experiences and bad memories. Do not hurry the process. Stay with it for as long as it feels good and healthy. If possible, play naturally immediately after waking up, all morning. If you can, play all day. Play uninhibitedly, though wisely; safely. Play in pure ego.
Review all your prior ages and select one in childhood which feels good. Re-be that specific age. Spree all day at that age. Be that specific coagulation of physical strengths, intellectual creations, emotional beatitudes and spiritual soul soarings. Feel the bound energy of neurosis from that age releasing itself into free energy. Feel your entire brain filling up with free, raw energy.
With your fingertips, gently stroke the free energy forward. Gently guide the free energy forward toward your forehead. The entire front of your brain is dormant. Feel your forehead start to vibrate. To buzz. To popp. Feel your prow start to come awake; to be energized. As your dormant front brain becomes energized, it chain-reacts. It releases still more pure, free energy.
Use all this newly created energy to increase your play. Revel in your new-found child play freedom. Up here, we neural nippers start our day in the profound silence of gazing Dawn Child birthing out of the Great Creation Plains of Kansas as if for the first time ever. Why don’t you do the same as sunrise peeks between your high rises? Up here, we babes in the wilderness romp and gambol our mornings with Sam Gommowitz Ground Squirrel. Why don’t you find your own squirrely pal down there and join us telepathically? Up here, we naifs of neurology skip through the forests of quaking aspen naked during the warm Injun Summer afternoons. Come. Inhale your harmonized physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual essence. Hug a tree. Hug all the trees; all million of them. Find again the pristine love of your Self living Life out free and full in the weather under the stars.
Eventually, turn this inward love outward. Turn your ego-centered love of Self out toward your environment-centered love of others. Turn out into your Universe-centered love of the Lifeforce. Up here, we savages love Stanislaus Mouse and Calligula coyote. Even humans. Merely allow your child to transcend egoistic self-love into egoless love of those who cannot (yet) think and feel this way, as you do. This causes more consciousness to flow into your head. Merely finger-stroke your in-coming cosmic consciousness, playfully, forward into the front part of your brain: into transcended love.
3. Do you feel uncomfortable, resist and block against playing like a kid? Describe whatever blockages you may have which prevent you from playing uninhibitedly. Inventory each emotional and intellectual blockage to free expression of your child wonderment. Can your child still see, with ardor and profundity, the magic in each new disclosure of daily reality? Invent a way to melt lovingly each ice wall around your automatic genetic child curiosity, imagination and playfullness.
4. Inventory the remembered experiences caused by parents, culture and society which blocked your child’s wildly free expression. Which of these dominant experiences caused you to break your spirit down into their conformity? Invent a play way to dissolve those bad memories judiciously. Plan an order of growth by which you systematically shall get each child derailment of genetic curiosity, imagination and playfullness back on track to personal Life-meaning fulfillment via play.
5. Discuss your intuitions. Using intuitions, discover which parts of your genetic drive of curiosity, imagination and playfullness are blocked. What would your Life now be like had your parents wholly understood and nurtured to the hilt your integrated genetic growth? (Shall you formally study the science of genetics to discover the true facts of this supreme drive of the Lifeforce to grow you up into cosmic intelligence?)
6. Age-looping. Loop your awareness into two ages at once: 10 and 20; 1 and 10; 20 and 200. Play with the luxurious euphoria of first discovering a new reality at the younger age. Next, connect this young joy with the intelligence of older-aged you. Meld the two into the truth, beauty and goodness of a higher reality.
7. Why is your pure child ego sucking of emotions, thoughts and behaviors good for your therapy? How can it be bad for inter-personal relationships? How shall you keep the two separate? How shall you find/create a soulmate with whom to share consciousness while playing this lesson together as one?
8. What differences do you feel when playing in primal nature as compared to playing in the city?
9. Play with the animals in primal nature. Play not as a human, but as a fellow critter. Discover your genetically innate animal telepathy. Remember: It is animal telepathy which causes flocks of birds and schools of fish to turn simultaneously; which guides individual superior males and females to mate with each other so as to mutate the species and evolve into higher Life forms. Talk with the animals. Nurture and develop, humbly and lovingly, your innate capacity to be cooperative, empathetic soulmate with members of other species. (This opens, energizes and reinforces the 2-inch layer of dormant glial cells under your cortex bark.)
10. What is the social consequence to a planet whose total population of individuals within the dominant species and whose total civilization have evolved from – and continue to be based upon – the sole behavior of child ego suck? How does such behavior apply to planet Earth? To America? To the Soviet Union? To China? What recommendations for changing behavior can you offer to individuals, groups, institutions and nations? How can you make these recommendations public and effective?